2020

Assalammualaikum and hi again peeps :D

It's already 2020?? Wowwwww.... how time flies bruhhhhhh~ 

So, the last entry were about how I've encounter such challenging test in life, where i lost someone so closed to me, my king, my ayah :') sedekahkanlah Alfatihah to ma old man kk guys :D

Wow, hahaha i think i've turned rusty in writing entries for this blog since my long hiatus. Anyway, i've was thinking of making comeback (somehow HAHAHA) for 2020. Sumpah, i think i'm sucks at writing blog dah ni haa hahahaha or maybe i've been away for too long??? Tbh, when i'm writing this, tonight i felt nothing (empty). There was something missing (my true feeling). Maybe the excitement of writing wasn't here tonight, thats why i'm sucks at it now.

Therefore, i'm just gonna ramble some things such as "what have i been up to?", "how's life are now without ayah?" and so on (somewhat....)

First of all, i am already doing my internship!~ insyaAllah, kalau ada rezeki dah grad next year. I'm 50-50 on that tho.... Yeah, i am happy to end my degree life, but some part of me... (you'll get what i mean, right?) 

I think, since ayah dah meninggal ni banyak sangat go through my mind these past few months. Well, duhhhhh absolutely laa kan, dah tinggalnya sekarang aku dengan mak ja. I've been worried, i've been putting plans into actions, i've put up some strategy for my future planning but most definitely, i've been thinking about mak. At some point, i'm afraid about our financial. I just hope, everything were perfectly granted as i pray to Allah to show me the way. BUT, at some other points, aku rasa aku terlalu overthinking. You know, there's days where you're too worried about what future might bring into your life and you can't help to overthink and over analyzed EVERYTHING. Tambah aku anak tunggal kan? Kalau tak fikir sekarang, bila lagi? Kalau aku tak fikirkan benda ni, siapa nak tolong kami? All that we've got and what's left for us is each other, me and mak. 

It's scary sometimes, to be thinking/worrying about life at this age.... but you just can't help it when some situations occurs in life. Alhamdulillah, we've been getting help, well more likely aku laa getting financial help for makcik pakcik (9 adik beradik) aku to get through degree life aku ni. And since aku intern dah dekat dengan rumah (not really dekat, but still...), my monthly allowance yg aku dapat masa study pun still diteruskan even dah dipotong sikit tapi aku still bersyukur. At least we had some sort of source for financial needs, here and there to survive everyday life. 

Many things happened after ayah passed away to people around me, but aku doa semua orang yang aku kenal or mengenali aku can continue their daily life with smiles on their face and wake up with more courage/spirit/positive vibes of every dark path they have to go through, because everyone are struggling in their own life. And i hope each and everyone can handle the situations they've to go through even when they are already at the peak of giving up.

Hmph, lame (it's not lame/lama,it's lame/sucks XD) gila entry kalini HAHAHA! but nevermind.... Later2 aku asah lagi bakat menulis aku HAHAHA.